One Person, Zero Excuses: The Reality of Solo Survival in the City
May 4, 2024
Why Urban Prepping is a Single Woman’s Greatest Act of Self-Care
You are now on your own. Perhaps you’ve just moved out of your parents’ house, or you are a widow like me. Or, perhaps you are a divorcee with young children. You are no longer in the marriage you fought to get out of, but now you are on your own with limited assistance and much responsibility.
Your life is forever changed. It can be wonderful, but it can also be overwhelming. The life you made so many adjustments and compromises for is over, and you can live as you want.
Being on your own is liberating! However, being a single mom or solo woman is more difficult than for single men or two-parent families. Firstly, it’s harder to find a place to live. Some of us had no option of moving back in with our parents or had sympathetic relatives or friends that had space for us or any children (and animals) we may have. Getting a roof over your head was paramount, and a SMSW (Single Mom Solo Woman) may have to make a lot of compromises and hard choices to find an affordable place to call home. She may not want an apartment on the first floor for safety reasons, but it may be the only affordable option. This choice might not be an issue for a single man or a couple. As a result of factors such as lower pay, child support, or alimony that may or may not arrive as it should, SMSWs often end up in poorer neighborhoods with higher crime rates. She has to be careful how/when she travels and has her children's safety in the back of her mind as they go back and forth to school.
Money is tight, with more Americans than ever living paycheck to paycheck, including SMSWs, who do not have the safety net of a partner or an ex-partner to help when the ends aren’t meeting.
...And you have to do it all. An SF finds herself doing things for and around the home that have traditionally been male, along with household chores. An SW has to do the same and has children. Having pets adds to the daily grind, leaving little room for relaxation and self-care, much less prepping.
So, how does a SMSW get into prepping with so much on her plate? Prepping may seem like another “must-do” for a SMSW to add to her never-ending “to-do” list. But instead of seeing prepping as yet another chore, I believe it would help to look at preparedness differently.
1. You can find a way to store your preps in a small apartment and be discreet. Some people may prey on those who seem to have the essentials in tough times. Prep covertly and find creative ways to make room.
2. It is not something to be done every day. Think of it as a houseplant: something that needs tending but is not an obsession.
3. Your preps CAN fit in your budget. It’s amazing what an extra $50 can do. For $50, an SF can have enough food for a month; an SM with two kids can eat for about two weeks. FEMA recommends you have two weeks of food on hand during a disaster and a gallon of water per day per person (and more of you have pets). Remember, this amount of water is not just for drinking but for cooking, rinsing, and hygiene, so more is better!
4. You do not have to prep alone. SMSWs can begin to discuss preparedness with their family and friends, especially other SMSWs. Build a network of SMSWs and see how you can help each other, such as checking in periodically and around any upcoming weather events. If you are far away from an involved ex or your family, you may connect with a neighbor who will have your back in the case of an emergency. A person doesn’t have to be all up in your business to be a good neighbor when you need help. Trust your gut - it will tell you if a person is a fit for your tribe and that you can trust with specific information - and your children - in an emergency. You may be leery of trusting your information or some preps with them, but this is the time to vet your Disaster Team. If untrustworthy with tasks when things are “normal,” be confident they will not be reliable when SHTF (the Sh*t Hits the Fan).
You may ask, what information should be shared? What can I gain by building a network? Well, someone may have a home where SMSWs can convene pre- and post-disaster. You can trade items and supplement your preps. For example, someone may know how to can but has no space to grow food; another may have room to grow food but does not know how to can. Someone may have a great stash of medical and hygiene items, but not enough stored food, and you could exchange some of their items for some canned or frozen items. You can also share information regarding sales, giveaways, farmers’ markets, and thrifting. These things will help boost everyone’s preps without revealing what YOU have.
5. Build your knowledge! Even if you are comfortable with the number of essentials you have on hand and have enough room to store them, begin to follow other women in the prepping community online to get ideas. If you spend time on social media, commit a few minutes to look at other women working toward self-sufficiency and preparedness. Even if their lifestyle is different (say, they live on a farm and you live in a 2-bedroom apartment), that doesn’t mean you couldn’t learn a food or storage hack that can make a difference in your preps and save you some money, space, or time.
In closing, you CAN prep and have more than FEMA’s recommended emergency supplies without significantly impacting your day-to-day existence. Ease into it, noting where you can be more emergency-ready and then focusing on one area at a time. This series aims to teach SMSFs to be more prepared and self-sufficient, not the added stress of training to be Xena Warrior Princess of the Apocalypse. You are already kicking ass; these are tips and skills to add to your repertoire and build your confidence as a prepper.
So, you may be asking, “Where do I start?” My next article will show you how!